Lists

One of my favourite films (probably in the top twenty) is High Fidelity. Though not as good as the book by Nick Hornby upon which it is based, it does include the salient feature of the story- men's constant desire to make a list of things, usually with a ranking. I'm not a natural list-maker, it's all learned behaviour, unlike Bunny who, this week, sent me his list of kit to take to France, but I am getting better. So I thought I'd start this post with:

Ten Things I love about my new bike

1. It's red. Mostly. It has white and black too, which are the 2nd and 3rd best colours for a bike, but it's the red I love. Truth be told, it was that colour that drew my roving eye in the shop. All the best bikes are red. Irrespective of anything else, it makes them go faster.

2. It has beautiful lines. Grace, a much-maligned spiritual concept, also applies the well-formed structure of this machine.

3. It is made of carbon. I know steel is aesthetically more "in" and you can not repair carbon if it breaks, but it is the material of my "cycling time", in much the same way as the 70s will always be a naff decade to me (no matter how many style gurus say it's cool to be clad in retro 70s stuff).

4. It fits me. I'm making an assumption because it hasn't been ridden for 100 miles in a day, or at all in fact, but it's been measured around me, meaning it will be comfortable. A sign of my age, but it's important nowadays.

5. The screws for the bottle cages go into specially-recessed threads. One of many tiny design details that count.

6. It's won the Tour de France. OK, not this exact bike, but loads of the same design, and even if the Texan is tainted, on this occasion it is about the bike.

7. The tyres have a red stripe on them-see 1 above

8. The wheels make that fabulous clicking sound, musical engineering.

9. Some of the cables are internally routed-see 2 above.

10. It is clean. Mainly because it's not been outside or ridden yet. Which is why I chose to do today's ride on my K-1 bike. K-1 needs a wash (he still does) so I'm not washing two bikes when I eventually get round to it. And as I need to be accustomed to the bike I ride down to Land's End in September, it could be a while before the Red Madonne gets ridden at all. Mrs MMAM will not be happy!

So today's ride. A ride of two parts. Firstly an impromptu ride with Skip and Knight of the Realm to the Rocky Mountain Cafe and back, via Cheddar Gorge and the top of the Mendips. 9AM this morning was very unseasonably cold, misty and a bit damp, and this persisted all the way to the cafe. I was slightly surprised I managed to persuade them to do hills tbh, but the timely arrival of a random club cyclist called Ian, from Bicester cycling club, just as we were about to set off, seem to swing it. He was down here on holiday and was looking to cycle up Cheddar Gorge.

So away we went, forming up as a four, then a three as Ian swung off towards Burrington at the top, leaving us to toil into a cold North-easterly headwind to the cafe. Unfortunately their landlord is kicking them out and setting up his own cafe there from September, and the present operator told us of a much better cafe to use when that happens. She was genuinely upset about it all, especially as a number of people will be out of work as a result.

After cake and coffee we dropped down through the Horringtons to Wells, a lovely fast descent, made much more interesting by the Sunday drivers. I was trying to restrain my annoyance but it is difficult when faced with such stupidity. When will some people realise that some bikes travel quite quickly?

We wended our way across the levels via Burcott Mill, and the Wedmore Road, eventually leaving Knight of the Realm behind. He has been doing a lot this week, and even the gel I gave him could not keep him going. Skip too was feeling the effects of near-constant cycling in France for the last fortnight. Between you and me, I think she may have done a bit of drinking too, and then her left knee went and she was reduced to one-legged pedalling. Never good.

So while those two returned to their respective homes, I started Part two of my ride as a lone breakaway. By now it was getting hot, and it seemed summer was here at last. Here is a list of my hills:

1.Shipham gorge/hill (not sure which it is, but it's a constant 9-10% for a mile and a quarter). Going down into Shipham on the other side of the hill, the craziest driving of the day-overtaken on a corner at the top of the hill, then car slams on her brakes in front of me, while I am doing 40mph. Clever. I confess I did have a polite (honestly, it really was) word at the bottom of the hill and said car-driver apologised, saying (get this) "she didn't realise how fast I was travelling".

2. Up to the hill above Rowberrow. Not much of a hill, but still counts.

3. Long Lane out of Wrington past Walled cafe, then up round the back of the airport. One of my favourite climbs, lots of variation, and generally quiet.

(Around the airport perimeter there were loads of plane-spotters [more than usual], with their cameras and ladders. Why do people do this? I understand train-spotting, my brother did it, and though it never interested me, there is a certain romance about steam trains, and there are dozens of other numbers and trains to spot. But there are probably only about 8 planes flying in and out of Bristol every day, and where is the romance in those lumbering fuel-guzzling machines.)

4. Down Brockley Coombe

5. Up Goblin Coombe

6. Down Wrington Hill, a favourite that ends with a 17% down into a T-junction which I had forgotten about. Stopped in time though.

7. Winscombe Hill, a must if you want to get to your own house, which I did.

So, a great ride, reasonable speed considering I was just short of 100km, and did a fair amount of climbing. Andy Schlecck I am not, but in the words of the 2nd least-talented Beatle, "it's getting better all the time".

Three weeks to go......

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