How you shine when everything seems hopeless

Sometime I think things have gone for good, only to be pleasantly surprised, no, make that delighted, to discover that I still possess them.

Like the ability to sprint on a six-a-side football pitch. After an 18 month hiatus I returned to playing football last month. My first few weeks were torrid. I couldn't run, I couldn't pass and I couldn't control the ball. I pulled my quad, trapped a nerve in my back, and generally played about as well as Samassi Abou on a bad day. I didn't have to look that up by the way.

Four weeks of playing had me nearly convinced that, for once, age had caught up with my body. Despite my cycling fitness, my very limited footballing ability had gone to the middle-aged rest home in the sky, never to return.

I had a break two weeks ago because of the Etape Cymru (which I realise is a strange but somehow delightful juxtaposition of welsh and French, ["that's french", never ever forget that moment, because it defines your knowledge, your strength and your complete unwillingness to be pushed around. Even my boss still laughs at it, and I'm still laughing in admiration]), two weeks ago, last week I had to ride in to work because the car was broken AGAIN (thankfully no more wasps' nests though). Tonight, like a 40 year-old William Bonds (minus the sideburns, the fitness and the ability) I returned for one last go.

I will never be brilliant, I will never be as good as most of the players on that pitch. But I was good tonight. Generally did the simple things effectively, got in some fantastic blocks and tackles and scored a great goal. But best of all, I ran. And ran, and was still sprinting the length of the pitch at the end.

So, for starters, in my thinking here is just this. Whatever you do, the answers are in you, just as my answers, indeed my pace, is in there somewhere. You are the light, as they say. Not in that sanctimonious, "I'm right, you're going to hell" way. Or the stern, cruel, "I take one for the team" way.

No, a quiet, steady, "this is me, and I'm strong" way. Back off. It was Bunny who first told me, it's nice to be important, but more important to be nice", and just because it's a cliche, it's still true. Think about that.

Remember the second chorus Princess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSZv9KKf0g0