Up or out, or both

In law firms there is a cultural expression, "Up or out", meant to reflect the tendency of the lawyers to become Partners in the firm, or, well to leave. Whole theses have been written on the subject, but today I think I gave a whole new meaning to the phrase. In doing so I have invented, at least potentially, a brand new sport. Cycling is really the greatest sport not to be invented in all its glory, by the English. All of the others, football, rugby, hockey, cricket, all either invented or codified by the Anglo-Saxons. Tennis and golf don't count. Don't get me started.

So today, being a Sunday, being a glorious "not a cloud in the beautiful blue sky" day, was screaming at me to ride. In the absence of any chums, and the presence of a brisk north-easterly, and in anticipation of next Sunday's Exmoor Beast, there really was only one thing on the agenda. Gradients, hills, inclines, the up stuff. After yesterday's efforts I was feeling a lot better in the lung department, and being as K-1 was again to be my steed of choice, with its stiff steering, nose evacuation on the go, no-handed was emminently possible for the residual snottiness.

Now if you think this is a bit on the coarse side, you may want to skip a couple of paragraphs, it's about to get worse. The Exmoor Beast rides up the side of Exmoor that leads to Dunkerry Beacon. It's steep, slippery and crowded with people walking, and the only hill around here that could give me a foretaste of next Sunday is the gliding club hill. So I stopped at the bottom and took my sunnies off, unzipped the sleeves, selected the lowest gear, and off I went.

It is one of those hills that starts steep and gets steeper. I kept glancing down at Charlie to see that the initial 10% section had given way to a 14%, no 15% section, before a final lung-searing 22% ramp for about 200 yards. A few cars passed me, I made them wait rather than get too close to the slippery stuff at the side, if you put your foot down, you walk the rest as it's too steep to do a hill-start.

Towards the end I was really blowing the air out, desparately trying to get oxygen into my lungs. Lower down I had consoled myself that it's only a short hill, it may be steep, but it's not going to take hours is it? Finally I reached the top, with my heart going at 200 beats per minute, it felt like my lungs had been subjected to the old Norse practice of the spread-eagle. I promptly threw up. Not just a little cough, I emptied the contents over the road. Lovely.

So forget hill-climbing as a spectacle, I think people would pay to watch cyclists belt up impossibly steep hills before throwing up, it could be a test of their stamina. Perhaps not.

The rest of the ride consisted of a descent down the gorge, where I negotiated my way through lots of half-term traffic, before heading up Shipham Hill, through Charterhouse, up to the Highest Navigable Point on mendip, and then belting down Burrington Coombe and heading for home.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Doesn't feel like it, I feel exhausted, but I'm hoping a less manic week at work than last, together with some early nights, and I'll be all set for the last event of the year:

http://www.exmoorbeast.org/

Here are Charlie's stats from today. I was a bit slow overall, mainly because I ran out of energy on the way back from Burrington, now why would that be? Note the steep bit after about 6 miles, that's the one, have a go, everyone should do it at least once!

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/54170650