Why did I go Mountain Biking today?

The forecast was wet, so I thought, "haven't been on the old MTB recently, that might be fun"......

Ten things I have forgotten about Mountain bikes:

1. They are much heavier than carbon road bikes
2. They have fat tyres with knobbly bits that don't roll very fast, even on the smoothest tarmac
3. They are much heavier than aluminium road bikes
4. Disc brakes, heavy, but also prone to jam clamped on, which slows you down a lot
5. They are heavier than steel touring bikes
6. They have ridiculously low gears, which mean you can never go very fast downhill (or any other time)
7. You have to sit in this upright position which means you present the surface area the size of Wales into a headwind
8. The saddle is too wide....let's just say it's a man-problem
9. The handlebars are too wide to allow you to squeeze between the traffic
10. They are heavier than just about anything else on two wheels, four wheels, eight wheels, and that means a pathetically low average speed, climbing speed, maximum speed, and just about every other speed you can think of!

I should take advice when it's given, I was told......